Ask a Single Mom: How Do You Handle the Holidays Alone?
Holidays can be the loneliest stretch of the year for single moms without nearby family or a co-parent sharing the day — and also some of the most pressure-filled, with expectations about what a holiday “should” look like working against an already harder reality. Here’s how single moms in our community actually handle it.
“How do you deal with not having anyone to split holiday duties with?”
Most single moms describe simplifying significantly — fewer dishes, a smaller-scale celebration, sometimes a completely different version of the holiday than what they grew up with. One mom put it simply: “I stopped trying to recreate the holidays I had as a kid with two parents in the house. I built a smaller version that actually fits one adult doing everything, and it’s less stressful, even if it’s less elaborate.”
“What do you do if your kids are with their other parent for part of the holiday?”
A common approach is creating a separate, smaller celebration on a different day — “our” holiday, distinct from the calendar date — so the day itself doesn’t feel like the only chance to celebrate. Several moms mentioned this took pressure off the actual holiday date and let them build a tradition that wasn’t dependent on a custody schedule lining up perfectly every year.
“How do you handle the loneliness if you’re alone on the actual day?”
Many single moms intentionally plan something — even something small — rather than leaving the day open and unstructured. A few specific approaches mentioned: volunteering, since it provides connection and purpose on a day that might otherwise feel empty; making plans with other single parents in a similar situation, sometimes forming an informal “orphan holiday” tradition; or simply planning a deliberately low-key, comforting day for yourself rather than treating an alone holiday as something to just endure.
“Do you do anything differently to manage extended family pressure or questions?”
Setting a boundary in advance — deciding ahead of time what you will and won’t discuss, and having a brief, neutral response ready for predictable questions — came up frequently. One mom shared: “I used to dread the ‘so are you seeing anyone’ question every single year. Having one boring, ready answer prepared in advance took so much of the dread out of it.”
“What’s one thing you wish someone had told you about holidays as a single mom?”
A recurring theme: that the first holiday season alone is usually the hardest, and it does get easier. Several moms specifically mentioned that comparing their current holiday to a past, two-parent version was the biggest source of unnecessary pain, more than the actual logistics of the day itself.
“Any practical tips for managing the cost of holidays on one income?”
Setting a firm budget in advance, focusing spending on a small number of things that matter most rather than spreading thin across everything, and being upfront with kids about the budget in age-appropriate ways all came up repeatedly. A few moms also mentioned starting a small holiday savings fund earlier in the year specifically to avoid a stressful financial scramble in November and December.
The Bottom Line
There’s no single right way to handle holidays as a single mom — the common thread across these answers is permission to build a smaller, different version that actually fits your life, rather than measuring the day against a version that assumes two adults and a full house. The first year is usually the hardest, and most moms describe it getting more manageable, year over year, as new traditions replace old expectations.